Dreaming LifeDreaming Life

30-September-2003: Met a nice dark haired girl and the way back from the pub in Australia somewhere. She was afraid to take me home because her family were all crazy hillbillies; moonshine and shotguns etc. We went to an old house in some woods instead. The next day her dad came looking for her, one of her cousins had seen her with me the night before, so I set up this little force field for us to stand in that made us invisible. It didn’t really work though because the man was half blind anyway, he was banging all the walls around us with a big stick trying to locate our whereabouts. He eventually found us and a grabbed the pistol he was carrying; when I shifted the bullet chamber of the revolver open there was only one bullet inside, it was all gnarly homemade looking. I asked him in a comical fashion how many times he’d used the bullet; my new girlfriend said he keeps using the same one and digging it out of whatever he shoots, then fashioning the slug back into a fairly serviceable bullet. I said, ‘Ya tight old bugger!’ and he laughed like crazy, we were good friends after that.

29-September-2003: I was working on a children’s cancer ward as a social worker or something similar; someone had sent me a huge teddy bear to be passed on to one of the children. The bear came with an envelope; inside was a list of the names of all the people that had owned the teddy bear before. The list was written by children, all in their individual handwriting with little notes on how nice it was to have the bear, all of whom had now died. Each one had asked for the bear to be passed on to the next terminally sick child; there were about fifty names on the note so far, I felt very sad for the people who had died so young. The last child on the list, a girl, visited me in my sleep and said everything was fine; the teddy bear was a great help but she was in a much better place now, like Earth but with no sickness or shortages of food or water anywhere.

28-September-2003: I was living in a house I’ve never seen before, in a city I’ve never seen before in the south of England, with my brother, mother and stepfather. My brother was arguing with my mum and went and shut himself in his bedroom. The country was being attacked by Iraq, the sirens sounded an imminent raid and it was not long before the screech of missiles and enemy jet planes flew over our house. We were way out in the suburbs, so most of the explosions were quite far away. A couple of missiles came really close to our roof; I knew they were going to hit somewhere nearby, they exploded inside a multi-story car park a few hundred metres away. I thought to myself, this is it then, I’m going to die; I wasn’t even bothered in the slightest. The house shook and bits of it fell off; the neighbourhood was in ruins, I went and asked my brother if he wanted to come out of his room to be with the rest of us at the end. When I opened his door he was laying on his bed with a motorbike helmet on, he said he’d rather stay in his room so I left him alone. A long drawn out siren announced the end of the air raid.

I went outside to inspect the damage; most people were staying inside, but a few were coming out to have a look. When I got to the car park there were a couple of old men standing in a remaining corner, three stories up, chatting about the second world war and all the differences. I told them I had special powers but I didn’t feel it was my place to intervene; they said there was nothing I could do about it, but I knew there was. I could have flown up and caught all the missiles and sent them away, I just didn’t think I had the right. We could see an airstrip a few miles away; there was a huge silver bomber taxiing down the runway, it had an Iraqi flag on the tale.

27-September-2003: I was looking for a river that I used to go and swim in; I had to go through a little forest to get there, there were some old Roman ruins on the way. When I emerged at the other side I found myself outside a station in Scotland, in a town square. There were two people, a middle-aged man and woman, sat on a long bench drinking whiskey. The man was saying he was pretty sure he had a drink problem, it was nine in the morning and I was inclined to agree, but the woman was telling him he wasn’t too bad. She pointed out that he only drank the smaller quarter sized bottles; he agreed with her and added that at least he wasn’t drinking the really hard stuff, it was only whiskey after all. I left them wondering what the really hard stuff might be, thinking I can’t wait to tell my friends back home that some Scottish people consider whiskey a soft drink. I went back into the forest through a stamp museum and forgot all about the river.

26-September-2003: I have long hair; about six years ago I went to the hairdresser to get my hair tidied up a bit, it was so tangled it took two women two hours to sort it out. The appointment slot was supposed to be fifteen minutes. I had a dream last night that I went back to the same hair salon, six years later, and they still remembered me and shouted, ‘Oh my God, it’s you!’ then screamed and chased me out of the shop.

25-September-2003: An unusual food blender had come into my possession. I kept it in the back garden of my childhood home; it was outside because it was too dangerous to be in the house. Some friends were pointing out to me just how dangerous it was; if you took the top off the blades kept on moving, at an astonishing rate. Worse than that, when someone inserted a sizable tree limb it was instantly pulped.

24-September-2003: Riding on the train to London; I was in the queue for the toilet for ages, when it was my turn a black man said I better clean the wet floor before I came out. Inside the toilet room the floor was covered in water; the sway of the train was tipping water out of the bowl, I didn’t clean it up. I get pretty claustrophobic on the new trains that don’t have any opening windows and automatic doors; I was pleased when I discovered an emergency exit door that had a slide down window, I breathed in the outside air and felt like I’d discovered something truly amazing. As I looked out of the window; I saw an orange car trying to keep up with our train driving along the tracks, a pretty impossible feat at one hundred and thirty miles per hour. On the way back to my seat there were cakes all over the floor, lots of women (some huge) were eating cheesecake.

23-September-2003: I was reading a new book by Terry Pratchett; my friend Sean was trying to take it off me, being a big Harry Potter fan. Terry's latest Discworld novel had a few chapters, unusual in itself, at the end with Harry Potter artwork in them. Harry Potter had cast a spell which had sent him to the Discworld; he was causing a bit of chaos as a wizard who was actually able to cast successful spells. My friend, looking over my shoulder, was convinced it was actually a new Harry Potter book and I just didn’t want him to see it.

22-Seprember-2003: I was at my mum’s flat in London; she’d left me a note with a pile of newspapers, she wanted me to do a paper round as a favour to the local paper shop. I didn’t know where any of the addresses were, so I just had to look around streets randomly. I came to the top of some very narrow steps where I met a lecturer from my old university in York; he had a large group of students with him from his new placement in London, they all decided to help me do the paper round so we could all go to a bar together for a drink afterwards. We got most of the papers delivered when the lecturer ran off and we couldn’t find him; a local mafia boss was after him for something he’d done a long time ago. There were three really old fashioned lifts, all made of wood with ropes, and the boss was chasing the lecturer up and down the three lifts. The Mafioso dropped his wallet and the students and I went and got it; the wallet was full of incriminating evidence, I thought the police might be corrupt so I took the evidence to the Guardian newspaper.

21-September-2003: Some really skanky people that knew my flatmate came and stayed in my bedroom and wouldn’t leave, they all started smoking illicit substances and I couldn’t stand it. I said I’d drop them all out of the window if they didn’t leave; one of them left but another one grabbed my arms and said, ‘You can’t see what I’ve got on the other side of your door.’ I thought it was going to be someone with an axe or something; but it turned out to be his big fat wife and little boy, thankfully my mum phoned up and woke me up.

20-September-2003: A bunch of friends and myself had gone on a camping trip to Scotland; we stopped at a campsite near Loch Ness. The locals had built a huge storage facility directly under the loch; they had all their most valuable heirlooms and historical possessions stored down there, they said it was for safe-keeping in case an asteroid hit etc. After a guided tour underneath Loch Ness, I went to a local pub for a drink and something to eat. There was no one in the pub apart from an old man in a brown cardigan idly cleaning pint glasses; I’d made quite a noise coming in but he acted as if there was no one about for three minutes or so, then asked what he could get for me. I asked him if there was anything to eat and he said, ‘Ahh, yer lookin’ for some ‘t’ eat?’ then carried on cleaning pots for ten minutes while I stood wondering if there was anywhere else I could go. Another old man came in through a side door and the first one told him I was looking for something to eat; the man poured me a pint of beer and gave me a little cake, saying that’s all they had. A couple of local women came in and started nattering about a strange dog in town; saying it was in and out of people’s houses and had even been across the loch on the ferry. Just as the dog in question came into the pub, they both stood up and said, ‘There’s the rascal!’ I said, ‘Awww, it’s only Rags. She’s my friend Steve’s doggy, she just likes to get to know everyone wherever she goes.’

19-September-2003: There was a tornado coming along the coast towards my brother, Ben, and I; I knew it was coming too fast to run away, so I held my brother’s hand so he could fly with me. The storm followed us for a while and then stopped; it turned out not to be a storm but the effects of a huge spaceship coming to hover over the area. The aliens inside were identical to humans; they were looking for me. I was trying to tell some people in a school that I was an alien and these people were here for me; they were all in danger with me around. I tried to show them how a weapon of mine worked, it was disguised as a mobile phone, but the batteries were dead so nothing happened. Three of the aliens burst into the room and I did a judo roll to the left and pulled my weapon on them; they all dropped their weapons and I picked them up and fired one into the air, causing a bit of plaster to fall down. The aliens ran off. Later there was a small boy walking dangerously close to some power lines; he almost fell on them so I used one of the weapons to sever the lines at either side of him, cutting power to the town but saving the boy.

18-September-2003: My granddad and grandma were alive and living in a house on the Lizard Peninsula, Cornwall England. My granddad was sat outside in the back yard without any clothes on; my brother and I were trying to convince him to put his pyjamas on, he was protesting that it was too difficult and his addled mind couldn’t work out how to get his legs in. When we went and brought his pyjama bottoms he started walking off into the house; we caught him up and got them on him, he kept falling over after this saying the pyjamas were too heavy. He just wanted to walk around naked.

I had a false waking up where I wasn’t sure where I was; then I realised I was at my grandma and granddads house at Newton Terrace in York, England. I used to stay there when I was a child; the room I slept in was haunted, the ghosts were still there in this dream. The ghosts don’t scare me any more though; I was teasing them to come out, they were getting annoyed that I wasn’t scared and I was laughing at them. The ghosts interfered with the TV on put on a scary French film with gruesome murders on a beach; I turned the sound up and put a tape in to record it.

17-September-2003: Somewhere in the very early twentieth century; perhaps even the nineteenth, I had a dad and an adopted brother/sister. My brother/sister (Jamie) was an hermaphrodite, but the doctors and my father had decided for it to be a boy; I was sure she was a girl from an early age though, despite a male sex organ. Our dad worked in a steel mill; he took us both to work with him one day, Jamie was always very clumsy and kept knocking things over in the mill and even started a small fire in the basement. We always laughed at him though and made a friendly joke of his clumsiness. We were the first people in the whole town to own a horseless carriage; dad let me have the first go at it, I think he was secretly a little afraid of the thing. I climbed up front and released a couple of levers; Jamie came on board too and pushed something down with his foot and we hurtled down the street out of control, I remember thinking how strange it felt riding along on the front of a carriage without any horses pulling us.

Jamie and I became very close; we were a great comfort to each other the night a reckless tornado came through town, tearing half of our house away. As he grew older it became more and more obvious the Jamie was a she; everyone treated her as a girl, lots of boys (and men later) found her attractive. The only people that wouldn’t accept it were our dad and our new mum; even though she had an operation, against our parents will and behind their backs, to make her wholly a girl. Jamie moved out to her own flat when she was sixteen; causing a rift in the family, with me in the middle going from one house to the other.

16-September-2003: A girl from the gym I go to came up to me and took my photo for a local news paper.

15-September-2003: I was part of a little group stood by the River Ouse in York, England, waiting for something to happen. After a short time a mad biker bloke came down the riverside on a huge motorbike; veered off onto the toe path then flew straight onto the river, he was riding his motorbike actually on the river. Someone said, ‘Ah, yes. I’ve seen him do this before.’ What no one expected though was the elderly woman who decided to join in; she got on her little red moped and came tearing down the riverbank at 30 mph, before anyone could stop her she was sailing into the air over the river. Instead of sinking as we all expected, she rode across the surface like the other guy only more impressively. She was popping wheelies to applause from onlookers.

14-September-2003: I was in the countryside, possibly in Australia, and everywhere was flooded. My stepfather was in a silver car, I was driving a dune buggy and my brother was on my off-road motorbike. My brother rode the bike off a ramp and straight into some really deep water; I told him not to do that because I didn’t want it getting all rusty and he said sorry, which was very unusual. I found myself in an old one story wooden house, the kind you get in the Australian outback, surrounded by floodwater but unaffected. There was a room with some things in it that I used to own but had left behind as time went by; a slender girl in a bikini, the only way I could describe her would be to call her Mavis, looking through my old things. There were lots of watches; I started putting them all on so that I had about four on each arm, Mavis picked some up too that I said she could have. She was picking up all the cheap black digital watches. All the ones I had were mechanical and interesting; my favourite had all sorts of moving parts, the edge of the face moved every second and there was a map of the world for a face that moved around so that it always showed at which countries it was midday.

There was a cut to another scene, like in the movies, where my brother and stepfather were driving off and leaving me; I wasn’t really all that bothered, being happy to stay where I was with Mavis. I told her how nice it was to come to this old house and see all my old things but said we should leave too in case it starts raining again. When we got outside the buggy and the bike were gone; there was only the silver car, but it was locked and they had taken the key with them. A violent storm was brewing with lightning off in the distance, I was pretty sure the flooding was going to take the house away so Mavis and I had to get out of there. I telepathically asked Catface, in the now repaired mothership (see description on front page and dream archive), to open the doors of the car and we got in. I also got Catface to start the engine but it was done with a little too much gusto, the care shot off the end of a little pier and we were in the water sinking fast. I remembered from survival training that we needed to open the windows quickly to prevent being trapped in by the water pressure; as the car filled with water we held our breaths then got out and I helped Mavis swim to the surface and climb out onto a rock. We caught the attention of a large boat which came to help us; when it arrived it was entirely crewed by children, I had to decide if we’d be safer from the storm in the wooden house or out on the open waves in the hands of children. We opted for the boat with the children but the house didn’t get washed away in the end either.

13-September-2003: I was lost somewhere on the other side of town; I’d got out of my car and taken my bicycle out of the boot, I was pushing it along the path because I was too dizzy to ride it. I had a little memory loss and realised I was walking along the street without my bike; I tried to retrace my steps but I was hopelessly lost, I couldn’t find my bike anywhere. I found a bicycle that was the same as mine but the handlebars were all rusty and not connected to the bike, so it wasn’t possible to ride it. I couldn’t remember where I’d left my car either; I hoped that I’d left it somewhere I wasn’t supposed to, so I’d get a parking ticket through the post telling me where it is. If that wasn’t the case I would have had to wait until the road tax ran out at the end of the month; after a few weeks I would get a letter from the police saying my car is being towed away for not having a vehicle licence in such and such a place.

12-September-2003: A very strange dream last night and this morning; never had one like this before. A friend of mine called Jason died earlier this year; the dream took place in his old flat, he was there with three other people. There were two men and one girl, they were all asleep and dreaming the same as me; the only odd one out was Jason’ who is dead. The other live people were all from different parts of England, all Jason’s friends that I never met. I didn’t really like the look of the two men so I didn’t say much to them; the girl was very nice and smiled a lot. I asked her where she was and she told me that she was waiting to play a game of hockey in Croydon, London. She must have fallen asleep in the changing room. The other two were in Manchester and Liverpool, asleep in bed the same as me. I was really surprised to see Jason still living out some kind of existence in his old flat; I told him so and how I thought he would have moved on by now after so many months. He started swearing, saying he ****ing knows; he doesn’t know why he’s still here, he just can’t leave. I walked outside with the girl and we talked about where she lives and how amazing her eyes are; wishing we knew each other in the waking world, it was a very sunny morning as I pointed across town to where I live. I felt a bit anxious at first because my car wasn’t parked outside Jason’s flat, like it normally was when I used to go and see him; but then the girl reminded me that we were only there in a dream. We went back inside to see the others; the two men were getting a bit frustrated at being trapped inside Jason’s odd reality. I told Jason that he couldn’t go on like this, trapped in his own flat when he should be off touring the galaxy, or whatever dead people do. I told him to smash all the furniture up and wreck his flat; I said we could all pitch in and help but he said no, it was something he had to do himself.

11-September-2003: A character called Libby from an Australian soap opera called Neighbours was in England and needed to get back to Australia. Her taxi to the airport didn’t show up so my stepfather offered her a lift and I went with them. I told my stepfather that she probably isn’t actually going to the airport, that they always shoot the airport scenes in a studio; sure enough she only wanted to go to a TV studio in Goodramgate in town, so we left her there. I must have fallen asleep in the car because we were suddenly on a hilltop somewhere I didn’t recognise. I couldn’t see any landmarks that were familiar, my stepfather pointed to some distant hills and told me Glasgow (Scotland) was just on the other side of them. I didn’t believe him and told him I was going to make my own way home; before he could protest, I leapt off the hilltop and flew off down a very wind-blown valley. I didn’t know which way was home so I was flying aimlessly for quite some time, though I was enjoying the updrafts from the hillsides. I saw a woman on a large horse galloping along a bridleway so I swooped down to ask her where I was. After not recognising the name she gave me I asked which country I was in, she told me I was in Wales and started galloping off. I asked her to wait because I quite fancied her but she told me to get lost because she was riding her horse.

I met up with some other people and realised I was in an earlier dream where we were all trapped in an alternate reality where Viking hordes ruled the land; they were hunting us down and we were trying to find a way out. Half a dozen Vikings were patrolling on horseback in a valley below us so we decided to split up but keep in contact with the radio implants in our heads. I found myself surrounded by a Viking patrol; they hadn’t seen me, I was hiding under a stone bridge, but they knew someone was near. A Viking shaman came slithering down the bank of the stream on his belly and into the tunnel under the bridge where I was hiding. He was wearing a fox’s head over his eyes and couldn’t see me, but he knew I was there. He made a signal to let me know he wasn’t going to give me away. He signalled for me to follow him out and we crawled up the stream’s bank; a Viking boy saw me and started shouting, the shaman said he’d have to kill me because I’d been seen with him so I retreated back into the tunnel under the bridge. After a heated discussion the shaman decided I should live and directed me through some secret tunnels that led off the main one under the bridge. He went through an automatic door and shot upward through a chute; I took a different turn and stepped out into a train station lobby in Portugal. I’d found the way out back into my own reality; there were several of my friends waiting for me, but there were still more stuck in the other reality. A girl called Louise had been the first to get out; she’s been awaiting our return in the Portuguese lobby for three years.

10-September-2003: I was with a group of people been taken prisoner by an ugly mob in an old factory. One of the mob gave me an empty gun to tease me; he didn’t know I had some bullets in my pocket, when I tried to fit them in the gun they were too big. The mob were trying to get the automated factory working again, they were connecting some large bendy pipes to outlets about a metre across. One man was trying to insert a huge yellow nozzle into a socket painted red; the boss man told him to attach it to the yellow one across the room, after this silly mistake I began to think our kidnappers were not very bright. The men attached the tubes to the right sockets and the factory came alive with pneumatic doors and assembly equipment; we used the noise to hide our smashing the window and climbing out and down a drainpipe to safety.

9-September-2003: I was a ten-year-old boy in Victorian London looking for piano lessons. I asked a passer by for directions to a good piano school, he told me there was one called Jones’ just along Oxford Street from where we were standing, a furniture removal man showed me the way. When I went inside there was a stage and lots of actors and make-up people around; there was a woman with a hat on that had a huge peacock feather in it. She told me I was late and to stand by the piano and learn my lines; from then on I was a Victorian child actor.

8-August-2003: I was with someone else running away from a dinosaur, possibly a T-Rex, when we got to a river and swam out to a little island in the middle the creature stopped chasing us. We started laughing at the T-Rex; jeering at it for not being able to swim, but my friend tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to the real reason the animal didn’t follow us. There was a huge dinosaur, about the size of a Diplodocus, I didn’t recognise on the other side of the river.

7-September-2003: Another dream with my ex-wife in; probably because my friend said he saw her the other day. This time there was two of her; a good Masayo and a bad Masayo. The bad Masayo didn’t know that the good one existed; she was making all kinds of evil plans to thwart society, the good Masayo and I were counteracting all her plans. Of course no one could tell the difference, in appearance, between the two; so the good one was able to pose as the bad Masayo and empty bank accounts and cancel malicious orders. I’d made a special device out of thin strips of metal that made the good Masayo and I invisible if she ever came within close proximity of her doppelganger. One of the evil Masayo’s minions was a boy called John Adams that I went to school with; he could feel the strangeness that my metal strip device was emanating, there was a long chase with John trying to shoot us with a special light beam to make us become visible. His senses were not very accurate but the beam came very close on occasion; at one point we were trapped on a window ledge overlooking the river in York, England, with swathes of yellow light threatening to expose us.

2-September to 6-September-2003: I was on holiday during this time and didn’t record any of my dreams day to day, but I do remember one where I was a kung fu cleric out to uphold peace and justice. I could tell which people had committed crimes by reading their thoughts, after which I had them arrested. There was a woman who was part of our patrol that could see slightly into the future, she was arresting people for crimes they hadn’t committed yet.

1-Septemeber-2003: I was back with my ex-wife living in the house I grew up in. Every time we tried to get romantically involved a naughty spirit would keep interrupting us; either by flinging things around or possessing Masayo’s body. We had a family dog and I discovered later on that the spirit was somehow attached to it; if the dog wasn’t in the room, the spirit couldn’t be either.