Dreaming LifeDreaming Life

30-November-2004: There used to be a little store that sold candy opposite my childhood school, it had a women’s hairdresser above it that was reached by a door next to the one for the store. I dreamt last night that I bought the old store and hairdresser’s that had closed down, I was making plans to knock them both through into one and bricking up the storefront to make it into a proper house. Even though I was joining two bits together, it still looked very small; plus some for the locals thought I was opening it up for business again, so I found some leftover stock around the back and sold it all off cheaply (mostly red wine) and we all had a party.

29-November-2004: I had a dream that I found a videotape and took it around to my friend Che’s house to watch; he wasn’t there but I watched it with his mother instead, it was a strange German comedy/documentary (?) with people doing bizarre stunts with horses, so strange that we couldn’t really tell what was going on. It later switched to an extreme surfing video with huge waves; Che’s mother switched it off because she thought it was crap, I told Che when he came home about the extreme surfing and he demanded we switch it back on again.

28-November-2004: I first dreamt that my mum was smoking and making me cough; I wanted her to stop but she laughed and blew more smoke in my face, I got up and left her laughing in her house. Later I was in an open-air swimming pool that was full of trash, old drink cans like coca cola and beer; an old woman was talking to her friend about how disgusting it was to have condoms floating in a public swimming pool with children in it; there were some drug users around the pool looking for stuff in corners, the old woman told her grandchild that he ought to get out soon – I decided I should get out too when the phone rang and woke me up.

27-November-2004: I dreamt I was in a town I’ve never seen before but I knew my way around; I was staying in a hostel for super heroes, or people with special powers – I went off to find an ATM to get some cash and ended up watching myself/or the main dream character as a woman, like watching a movie; the woman got invited to a big party with a long queue and a guy at the door checking people in. When she got to the door there was a really horrible, snooty and sleazy man who said she couldn’t come in then shut the door in her face; the party was important for the man because the guests were supposed to buy stuff from him after getting to know him, I turned around as myself again and pretended to be working at the party saying, ‘Sorry folks, the party’s rubbish, it’s all been cancelled.’ All these rich people and supermodels sighed and walked away to their expensive cars; some of them cheered because they never wanted to go to the party anyway.

26-November-2004: I had a bit of an anxiety dream, caused by not sleeping for too long, about a ghost trying to tell me that Marcia and I shouldn’t be together, it was an evil spirit and I eventually got very angry with it and chased it away. Later Marcia was a fairy and a big, brutish man with tattoos was trying to use a magic spell with fairy dust to try and capture Marcia and make her his own fairy; it didn’t work though because our magic and emotional bond was too strong, the man ended up trapped inside a genie’s magic stone, I held the stone to my ear to see if I could hear him talking inside, but the stone was too thick to hear anything louder than a whisper. After that Marcia and I went flying over a magical land collecting green Earth spells, which we later cast at the sea near Australia and made huge splashes and tidal waves.

25-November-2004: I had a bizarre dream like a web design project; I was redesigning my brain using layers and tables like I was setting up a website, I kept putting smilies at the top of every file, then realized I could put them all in a style sheet…

24-November-2004: I had all kinds of anxiety type dreams based around the fact that Marcia’s coming to see me tomorrow; the most disturbing was one girl making sexual advances towards me and me telling her I had a girlfriend so I wasn’t interested, that she’s coming to see me tomorrow – I later heard the girl telling a man that I’d said I had a girlfriend and I wasn’t interested; he was admonishing her, saying ‘Well try something else then, just get him.’ To which the girl replied she didn’t want to, she wished she had a boyfriend like him, meaning me. There was another dream where I was with some friends constructing a huge movie set; to get out of the building after work we had to slide down some tight tubes, Neil said he doubted I’d be able to get out because of my claustrophobia stopping me from getting in the tubes… instead I was the first one to go and flew down the tubes as fast as I could because I was waiting for Marcia to arrive.

23-November-2004: I had a dream that I was taking my guitar to be fixed; it has two strings missing, it was like that when I bought it. There was a Native American running the music store, he said my guitar was very nice when he saw the airbrushed picture of the desert at night with the Moon and a howling wolf, which it doesn’t have in waking life. After close inspection of my guitar he told us (there was someone with me but I don’t know who, possibly my friend Carl who plays a guitar) that is was in worse repair than he thought, that I would have to come back in three days, which I didn’t mind at all since I can’t play the thing anyway – he wanted me to know that he was sincere and that he didn’t want to hurt Jonathan, he kept repeating that last phrase. I asked for some harmonica music so that I could learn how to play the one Marcia bought me in October; he showed me a bunch of books that were identical to my tin whistle books on the outside, but had different songs and tunes inside; I chose one and he told me the price and that he was an honest man, not wanting to hurt Jonathan.

22-November-2004: I dreamt that I had a pet shrimp that I kept in a tiny box full of seawater; the shrimp was an expert at solving crimes. Myself, another detective, and the shrimp were searching for clues in a lake with a waterfall in the middle; I kept getting so caught up in searching for clues that I forgot about my shrimp, we’d hear a little squeak and notice the little box had gone floating away towards the waterfall – every time I went to rescue the shrimp I expected the worst, but every time he was okay, twitching his little feelers looking for clues.

21-November-2004: I dreamt I arranged to meet Marcia (my fiancé) at a train station in Canada; I was really excited about seeing her and we kept phoning each other to talk about how close she was, I was asking if she was nearly there yet. The station was cold and shadowy but I was well wrapped up; Marcia was talking to me on the phone, saying she was pretty close now, I turned around and saw her sneaking up behind me and wearing a really fluffy big coat and a furry hat – both made from artificial fur, Marcia giggled and ran to me when I saw her and we both hugged each other… later I came across a massive group of Jamaican heroin addicts swaying like seated zombies near a traffic roundabout. I asked them if they would like me to remove their pain; they were too far gone to give me a sensible answer so I did it anyway, using one of the bigger repair units from the mothership, I sent their emotional ties linked to their addictions back in time, before they existed, and removed the emotional traumas connected with them – I later found myself in a rickety old barge on a river in Thailand, waiting for Marcia to arrive again; I still had the device and went about removing the pain from some dope-smoking hippies, one of which (Chris Bacon) insisted he wasn’t in any pain and refused treatment, until I told him that it wouldn’t effect him being stoned and that the green light was really cool.

20-November-2004: I dreamt I was in my house, which had windows instead of a roof; air force jet planes flew overhead upside down, so close that I could see the pilots smiling and their mouths moving as they spoke. I knew something bad must be happening if they were flying this low over my house; they were off to intercept some invaders who were landing not far away, there was a war going on between Earth and another planet, the planet I was on was somewhere in the middle which meant were on a living Hell of a world in the middle of a continual battle. Eventually the other planet won and our planet was overrun with robots who were searching out humans and destroying them.

19-November-2004: I was in a dream walking down Barmby Avenue, the street opposite the house I grew up in, when two police vans came along with loudspeakers telling everyone to go inside their homes. My house was at the other end of the street so I dawdled in that direction; a policeman stopped me and asked where I was going, I told him I was following instructions and going to my house at the other end of the street. The police officer decided to escort me and told me how there was a wild killer on the loose somewhere around here; I asked the man what his name was then asked Catface to find him, talking into a glowing green watch I was wearing – Catface told me he was ten metres to the right of us, so I told the police officer, ‘He’s over there behind that hedge.’ We went to search for the man but couldn’t see him; I asked Catface again and was given more exact coordinates which put the man in a tiny space at the back of a rusty old Mini car. I put my finger on my lips and pointed to the back of the car; the officer rushed the car and pulled the murderer out but the man was dead, murdered himself. The dream was all complex plots and subterfuge after that; with a visit to a junkyard and a huge, angry dog down Thief Lane.

18-November-2004: I dreamt I was showing a woman called Nikki how I take care of an autistic boy I visit at the weekends; which I am going to do this weekend, in fact in the dream I imagined telling her that I had a dream about telling her how to take care of him. Sometimes he comes out on a bike, he sits in a little buggy at the back while I pedal on the bike up front; we had a spare bike for Nikki to ride but he didn’t want to go out on the bike anyway, he ran around his dad’s garage/workshop crying instead.

17-November-2004: I had a dream with two cottages in it; they seemed very familiar even though I’ve never seen them before, my brother was in one of them that belonged to an old friend of his – he was going through the house from top to bottom looking for stuff that he could take; he told me how him and this old friend used to have fun on a go-kart and that he loved old motorcycles… I found an old Harley in the back yard, all covered in moss and rust; I wanted to restore it with a device I keep on the Mothership, but that wasn’t in this dream so I used a screwdriver and made the end glow green by chanting, ‘Nah mioho rengay kio,’ over and over until it glowed and started sending all the components back in time without them moving anywhere; it worked very slowly, but I did restore the old bike eventually.

16-November-2004: I was dreaming about having surgery on my nose, like I’d had done in waking life about 10 years ago; I was really scared about going for the operation because I don’t like being put to sleep with anaesthetics, someone was trying to convince me it would be okay then the dream skipped and the operation was over, my face was covered in bandages and I was drinking chocolate milk through a straw – I was very happy that I couldn’t remember anything that happened leading up to the surgery.

15-November-2004: I had a dream where Nathan (a friend) and I were going to Runcorn, which I think is in the north west of England but I’m not sure; we’d seen an add on TV that said Runcorn was all castles and fortifications, that a visit there would be like going back in time and being a medieval knight – we never actually got there in the dream but travelled on trains and things, always heading for Runcorn.

14-November-2004: I dreamt that Marcia and I had a little boy; we were taking him for a walk in the sunshine, I decided to carry him for the first time and he was surprisingly light – I said, ‘Hey, this is easy; I could carry him for ages.’ We took him for a walk on the city walls in York, England; there was a really steep climb to get onto the walls and the little boy scraped his uncovered belly on some gravel and started crying, we let him walk ahead on his own after that until we got to a really narrow section of path and he nearly fell off. At one point the boy had shrank to the size of a little plastic doll, like a stretchy Action Man, no bigger than my hand; this was before he nearly fell off the wall sometime, he was back to being a normal boy by then.

13-November-2004: I dreamt I was working in a field during World War two in England; there was a celebration going on with Spitfires flying overhead, we were cheering them when a swarm of German Messerschmits came and attacked the Spitfires and started strafing us in the field, soon after another wing of Spitfires appeared and shot all the German planes down and there was a huge corny announcement, in a WWII British accent, saying, ‘Oh no you don’t, stop it at once!’

12-November-2004: I had a dream that an old artist had shocked the world with positive proof that past lives exist as he was dying in hospital; he showed the TV cameras the ancient Roman paintings he’d found when he was a child but never shown anyone, he said they were paintings of him two thousand years ago. He’d always known it was him from the first instant he’d seen the pictures and spent the rest of his life developing the technology that would combine TV engineering with the Akashic Records, so he’d be able to make a videotape of all his past lives – the same tape he’d decided to broadcast in my dreams which showed him in an ancient Roman arena with a net, being cheered at by thousands of people, just like in the miniature paintings that were fading on bits of slate.

11-November-2004: I dreamt something about writing tickets, filling in red boxes on tickets for what reason I do not know.

10-November-2004: I had a great dream where I was a French-speaking con artist, like a movie really; I was part of a group of espionage experts, my job was finding cash. I needed a good suit to set up a meeting in London but only had a pink bathrobe; there was a Marks and Spencer next to our office so I went in there to con a suit out of them, since I had no money at all yet. I walked up to the suits wearing my pink robe and started selecting a few and headed for the changing rooms; a security guard was convinced I was dressed that way on purpose to steal a suit, so I could walk out looking normal. I told him I wasn’t and demanded to see the manager, it was all part of my plan – Daryl, an old housemate of mine, came up to me and asked what I was doing in a pink bathrobe in the middle of London; then he saw the security guard behind me carrying the suits he thought I was going to steal, Daryl whispered to his friend, ‘Watch this, a master at work; someone is about to get a free suit.’ The guard marched me up to the manager’s office and knocked on the door; she asked the guard to send me in, I turned to him and asked sarcastically if he were not going to join us, he grinned as if he thought I were being fed to the lions. I thought to myself that this was going to be easier than I thought. Once inside the woman was going to call the police but I asked if I could make one phone call first; she agreed but wasn’t very happy when I dialled about 12 numbers and started speaking French. I figured before I entered the store that the manager would be able to understand quite a lot of French, being well educated, but she’d be so full of her own self-importance that she’d figure I wouldn’t know that she could understand. She listened in to my pre-arranged phone call with a friend in Paris; he said he’d wire me over 160 thousand pounds out of my father’s, the prince’s, account – I told him not to tell my father anything, that I was so embarrassed about being robbed while taking a shower… My friend said my father was buying a castle in Italy anyway but he’d arrange for the Hilton (where I’d allegedly been staying) to be bought by my father and he’d fire everyone, I told him there really was no need, that the English were mostly kind people, it had been my own fault for carrying such huge amounts of cash around with me and not locking my door. I put the phone down and began to cry, telling the woman I should have the 200 pounds for the suit the next day, that I really was only going to try them on in the best romantic, pleading French accent I could muster – knowing full well by the gleam in her eyes that she’d listened to, and understood my phone conversation. She said I could keep the suits as she showed me out of her office and glared at the security guard, calling him an idiot, as I walked past him and winked. It was all very corny, but good fun.

9-November-2004: I was on the sports field of my old school in a dream where lots of people were split up into pairs and assigned a cupboard to work on; we had to redesign it and make it more efficient. Our (mine and some guy I don’t know) cupboard had a pole inside for handing clothes on, so I decided to copy it and make two more so there would be three poles to hang clothes on – the other guy was doing something with the door. After a bit we were told to have a break and the teacher went around everyone’s cupboard to appraise their work. He criticised someone’s uneven cutting on a banana-shaped hole they’d made in their door, then didn’t even bother to look at the next cupboard; when he got to ours some kid sniggered and said we hadn’t done anything, the teacher said, ‘Oh, haven’t they? Take a closer look at the best job so far people.’ The kid said, ‘What a load of rubbish,’ and the teacher banished him from the class. A blue and white Boeing 737 plane flew really low over the field at an odd angle; the teacher told us to continue working, the plane was fine, I said he was being ridiculous, that the plane was going to crash. The plane crashed into a house and people started phoning ambulances and saying the address of the house, 59 something or other – I turned into a woman and flew to the house to rescue the passengers; when I got there I was a man again and I found no flames or the expected wreckage, I checked the downstairs then went upstairs and found three people from my home planet looking dazed and confused. I asked them if they could fly, they all nodded so we flew off back to the school. We, the pupils and I, hid the three aliens (who looked like normal people) in a potting shed, then I woke up.

8-November-2004: I kept having lots of anxiety dreams about Marcia (my fiancé) not being with me; I was with a group of militants on a gunboat floating up the river in York, England. This horrible little man, who I think may have been David Coats from junior school, was making jokes about my girlfriend being made up; that I should really be marrying this other girl called Kat who was sitting next to me, who isn’t my type at all and he knew it. I ignored him and got down to business; my friend Carl was captaining the boat and I was projecting my right contact lens about three feet in front of me, using it as a bombing sight. I had it trained on an enemy ship coming towards us and said to Carl, ‘I’m ready to launch a torpedo now!’ Carl nodded but said nothing, after a few long seconds I said, ‘Well whatever, I’ve launched it now.’ And Carl just grinned. The alleged David Coats wanted to know how come there was no sound if I’d launched a missile and I went into a little speech about how torpedoes are not missiles, how it was launched underwater and propelled by gas forced out of the back of the torpedo, which made it very quiet. As I said this we could see a trail of bubbles heading for the enemy ship and Carl set our boat following the bubbles at high speed. I said to Carl, ‘Don’t follow the torpedo you fool!’ But he did, the torpedo got confused with the new target coming up behind it and veered of course to try and turn around and come for us instead; a big old Dutch barge got caught in the torpedo’s turning circle and the front exploded, sending a parachute up into the air that said ‘Marcia and Jonathan’ on it. The barge had lots of videotapes inside that started melting, thick, black smoke filled the sky; the tapes were evidence that the newspapers were using to bribe someone, important to the local government. Our team ended up in a hotel room looking over the smoking barge; I made a comment about our failing plans and the mess we made of the barge, Steve Richardson (a friend from years ago) said, ‘Yeah well, it was a laugh though wa’n’t it?’ And I had to agree. The deck of the barge was covered in soldiers and someone said they’d got the whole local army out to investigate; I leaned out of the hotel window and shouted, ‘HA HA!’ at them, they all looked up and came running towards our hotel, oops. We all ran for it in different directions, I jumped out of the window and ran down some scaffolding, chased by ninjas. I found a dark corner to hide in near the riverside; a ninja was coming down the bank looking for me, they were half stealthy assassin and half bungling idiot as they alternately leapt expertly and stumbled over rocks like a fool. The ninja came close but didn’t see me, started to walk away and I thought, what an idiot – but the ninja whipped around and got me in a headlock, then let go when another ninja came along and took her mask off, the one who had held me took her mask off too and they started chatting as I just walked away… ‘I think we should have a break…’ ‘We need more fun in our lives, go out for a coffee or a beer…’ ‘That new bar along the way looks nice…’

7-November-2004: Can’t quite remember, I dreamt something to do with trying to park my car next to Clifford's Tower in York, England; half of the parking spaces in the lot were cordoned off like they were a crime scene, I was just driving around trying to find a suitable space.

6-November-2004: I was walking along in the dream version of York, England, which is a little different to the waking version; there were all kinds of different trains going along the roads, I got on a train heading for a place called Poppleton. In waking life Poppleton is a little village just outside York; in my dream it was somewhere I’d never been before, I stepped off the train and walked into Poppleton, which was a town instead of a village. I was dressed like a mayor from a fairy tale with a big green lepricorn’s hat on my head and a matching very wide felt scarf. The people were surprised to see me visiting; I was some kind of official person, like a mayor only higher up but mostly ceremonial – the gist being that I wasn’t expected to be seen outside. In the dream Poppleton was the most amazing place I’d ever seen; the architecture was grand, the town hall had big Islamic domes and there was a huge Victorian hotel looking over a wide green. On the edge of town to the south there was a mountain with a little snowy peak that people were hiking up; the stores were all craft related, pottery, carpentry and such – the only food store had fresh vegetables and fruit in such large amounts that they were crammed up against the window inside. I walked up the mountain and there was a stone henge at the top; like the actual Stonehenge but a little smaller, the stones were covered in emerald moss and the sky was perfect. A man said to me, ‘No one knows we have this up here,’ and smiled. There was a long drop off a cliff at the other side of the henge; the drop had a lake and a waterfall at the bottom, I leapt off without even thinking about it, not caring about getting wet or my clothes. When I climbed out from the lake I found other, smaller lakes and ponds with children splashing and playing in them – sunshine sparkled in every droplet of clear water. I found myself back in the picturesque town, hardly believing that such a place could exist this close to York without me knowing about it; I couldn’t wait to show Marcia and ask her if she’d like to live there when she moves here next year.

5-November-2004: I dreamt I was hanging around with Jason Carlton; which meant I was about twelve years old again, there were some girls, possibly relatives of his, and two of them fancied me. I nearly kissed one of them but felt really weird about it, like I was cheating on my current girlfriend; I even told myself in the dream that I was being silly, that I don’t meet Marcia till decades in the future, nevertheless, I couldn’t bring myself to kiss the other girl.

4-November-2004: Had a dream with some lovely Marcia niceness.

3-November-2004: I started out in an anxiety dream about flying to America to see Marcia my fiancé; I was scared of going on the plane, being all cooped inside for 8 hours, then realised she was coming here so I couldn’t go anyway, in fact I only just made it back home in time to meet her at the station in York, England after catching a number 7 bus. Marcia was really tired as we walked through the town in the sunshine and my mother was going on and on about Bush and Kerry and which one was going to win the elections. I thought she’d never stop and Marcia was exhausted from the flight here so I told my mother to shut up which, of course, she did not. I went across the street to walk on the other side and Marcia came with me, leaving my mother talking to herself. Sometime later I said something about the American elections and my mother said I didn’t know what I was talking about, this time Marcia told her to shut up saying, ‘Don’t talk to him like that!’

2-November-2004: I had a dream that I went to a WMC, a Working Men’s Club – a kind of bar that’s subsidised so it has cheap beer for working class people – with Marcia, my fiancé, just after we’d got married. I didn’t want to go there because it’s not the kind of place I normally go, but I’d agreed to meet a friend called Bob there because I was feeling a bit guilty for what I did to him in an earlier dream. It was very dark outside the club when we got there, no artificial lighting outside whatsoever; I tried to make myself sound more working class as we passed by rough-looking people lurking in shadows, it was almost a relief to find the entrance with light leaking out through the door. We all sat around a table, myself, Marcia, and some other folks that were already there who I seemed to know in the dream; Bob came up to the table so I introduced him to Marcia who gave him a little kiss on the cheek. This other guy called Mark Rowley, who I know in waking life but haven’t seen in ages, came up behind me and said he was going to beat me up for pushing Bob into the swimming pool in my last dream; I said I didn’t believe him, that he was always threatening to beat me up but never actually did it. He once threatened to break my arm if I didn’t go on holiday with him; I reminded him of this and pointed out that we were grown up now and he couldn’t threaten me anymore, whether he meant it or not. He said he was going to hurt Marcia instead then, so I decided that I would have to fight him, knowing he wouldn’t stand a chance with my in-dream super powers.

1-November-2004: I dreamt I was trapped inside a game-show, inside a soap opera by an evil female genie; the producers of the soap opera decided they didn’t have enough intellectual/historical content and made it so that an evil genie would be summoned in one episode that made the cast play a game-show in different time periods. There were three of us, me, a man and a woman, and we were following clues in an old bus and dressed as German WWII officers. We drove over a grey bridge where German stormtroopers were laying electrical cables, they jumped out of our way and saluted as we drove past in our bus, if we were discovered we would have been shot. We were trying to find the correct hole in the ground to place a metal rod; we didn’t have much time because stormtrooper patrols were frequent, we were eventually helped out by someone in the audience after the woman with us kept putting the rod in the wrong place – we’d already done ours so she wouldn’t have gone through to the next round – the guy said, ‘well the other rods are over there, they represent your make-up table in your dressing room; so this rod must go where your shoebox would be in relation to the table,’ then counted out the distance with his footsteps. He put the rod into a hole but, with only ten seconds left, nothing was happening; I pulled the metal out and put it in the hole right next to it and alarm bells went off with cheers, we’d done it, none of us were eliminated which sort of spoiled the game for the genie.