Dreaming LifeDreaming Life

31-March-2006: I dreamt that I was on holiday in Brighton on the south coast of England. I used to live there in waking life and often dream about the place. At one point I was watching this mad looking car from our hotel window with Marcia – it was about 5 times bigger than a normal car and a larger than life replica of the Starsky and Hutch car from the 1970s American TV show. The huge car drove almost on its side on two wheels, like they do in movies sometimes as a stunt but this car had specially angled wheels so it could drive that way all the time. Later I was fooling around with Marcia and having fun then went around the streets of Brighton with a genealogy scanner that showed percentages of family blood in a given area. The last thing I saw was a reading: 23% Jacksons.

30-March-2006: I dreamt that I was put in charge of buying a house while my wife was at work. I found us a beautiful home that was really old with traditional oak beams and a thatched roof and bought it right away. I was also impressed by the big driveway that I could get my car into and turn it around so I wouldn’t have to park on the street. I parked the car at the front door and got out with house-keys in hand, all excited about getting a proper look inside. I noticed a really old sign with a painting of a pointing hand on it, underneath the hand it said ‘public telephones’ and reminded me of something from the 1920s. I thought that the house must have been an old English pub at some time in it’s history, until I saw through the window that there were loads of people inside and realised it was still a pub and not an ordinary house at all. I went inside and wondered how Marcia and I would be able to handle all the work of running a pub, or if we could just close it down and make it into a normal house, while all the locals watched me, unaware that I owned the place.

29-March-2006: I was dreaming about a documentary on the origin of food tins and can openers. My docu-dream explained how the idea of putting food in tins was first thought of by a crewman on a naval ship as he watched empty shell casings being expelled from the breech of large calibre guns. After this my granddad, who died a few years ago in waking life, started talking about life in ships during World War Two and how the most unbearable part of war was missing the people you loved and the familiarities of home.

28-March-2006: I dreamt that I was in Spain with two friends, Dave Smiley and Neil Kay. We were revisiting a holiday resort I’ve been to three times in past dreams but never in waking life. The last time I’d been there I got into trouble with the local mafia, or perhaps gypsies, lost all my money and was thrown out of my hotel. The three of us went for a walk towards the beach and I spotted some of the gang from the other dream harassing the locals and holiday-makers, buzzing around them on off-road motorcycles. When they saw me, with Dave and Neil, they sped off along the sandy beach; I told my friends to grab my hands and the three of use skimmed over the sand at high speed and caught up with the gang easily. They made it to their lair and their leader, who had a shotgun, but it was no use – the three of use beat them all up easily. Most of the time I didn’t even need to touch them, they flew from me as my hand gestures emitted an energy pulse.

27-March-2006: I had a dream about a money laundering heist that involved myself and a group of high-tech criminals being dressed as security guards and sneaking large bags of money through an airport and onto a plane.

26-March-2006: I was dreaming about my childhood house like it is now with different people living in there. I went there because my mother had become friendly with the owner and she was watering the plants or something. I used the opportunity to sneak into the back yard and go to the very end of the garden and see if I could still find the top-secret entrance to the high-tech underground bunker that exists in some of my other dreams. The garden had been reworked though and it was impossible to find on my own, so I decided to use some of my dream magic and floated up into the sky and asked for the help of tiny angels. The angels sang some kind of magic chord that made the entrance appear to me. There was a hole with a manual release lever at the bottom that I had to struggle to reach, doubly so because my mother kept poking me with a willow branch and telling me to leave it alone. I woke up before I got it opened.

25-March-2006: In waking life I have a brother in law called Jason Ferdinando, everyone calls him Ferdie. In my dream I was discussing with Ferdie how cool it would be if we could sleep underwater, so you could just jump in a river or lake and float to the bottom and have a nap – far away from the sounds and worries of life on Earth.

24-March-2006: I was in a dream where I caught a gang of teenagers breaking into my car. As a punishment (or perhaps rehabilitation) they were forced to learn kung fu by the local government. I, as the victim of the crime, was given the privilege of looking them over, walking in front of them like a sergeant-major inspecting the troops. A female member of the gang did not want to join in, she was of Brazilian origin and tried to defeat my kung fu with her own Capoeira – a Brazilian martial art that was invented by African slaves, involving a lot of spinning around and leg movements, like a wild yet controlled dance. Unfortunately for the girl, my dream kung fu is undefeatable and I soon had her subdued. I upset her by saying that her life and soul were very much like my car after her gang had treated it so badly: vandalized, broken and robbed of its content. She was the only member of the gang with any future from that moment.

23-March-2006: I dreamt that I was in a kind of business partnership with someone, we were both operating from a farm somewhere in the US. We had our own airstrip, the farm was miles away from civilization, and our own plane with twin prop. engines. We got into the plane and took off into the air but turned back when we saw a huge, dark cloud heading our way – it seemed there was a hurricane coming. We landed back at the farm and kept an eye on the huge storm cloud, rolling ever closer by the minute. We had an underground bunker we could use to shelter from the hurricane but we were both a bit worried, because of claustrophobia mainly, about taking shelter down there. As the cloud drew closer it became apparent that the hurricane was lacking the strong wind you’d expect to accompany such a large cloud. The cloud was in fact ash from a volcanic eruption, lava began oozing from the ground and we were glad that we never took shelter in the bunker. The dream ended with us both surrounded by glowing lava in the middle of a field and wondering what the afterlife would be like.

22-March-2006: I dreamt I was flying naked over Fulford, the area I lived in as a child. It’s almost a recurring dream, though I’m not usually naked, where I fly over the houses towards town but I never get all the way there. Something always interrupts me over a street called Broadway, nothing at all like, or connected with, the New York theater district. In this dream I flew upside down over my friend’s (Carl Sanderson) house and I saw his legs sticking out from under a car, like he was working on the engine. As I flew over I heard his brother, Ché, call up to me, ‘Hey, you look great!’ Soon after that I got as far as Broadway and landed, thinking how odd it is that I always stop at the same street in my dreams.

21-March-2006: I dreamt that I was in a large family and that we were staying in a cabin in a forest. One of the kids was upset and outside at night by himself, so I went to join him and talk about the stars and the night sky. I saw the there was a fire in the forest that spread quickly towards the cabin. I ran inside and woke everyone up, but when they came out the fire was gone – they wouldn’t believe there was ever a fire and I got quite upset about it. I walked off into the forest in search of some evidence of fire. I did find a few ashes but I didn’t look any further because I found a long line of people walking, like they were under hypnosis, towards a Swiss style village in the mountains. I thought they were part of a religious sect and decided to walk along with them, pretending to be under the same spell – there were so many of them I felt sure they wouldn’t notice one extra.

The line of people boarded a train and I followed them, thoughts of the cabin were far behind me. The train clackity clacked up a mountain track and went into a strange elevator that closed around it, iron walls clamped the train in place and the whole thing was lifted into the air. I felt very locked in but kept up the pretence of being in a trance. The elevator let the train go and we set off again up a mountain track, only to be clamped inside another elevator. Once the second elevator was closed everyone came out of their trance and looked at me, the whole thing with the fire and the line of people had been a cunning ploy to get me on my own. I can’t remember the exact details but they wanted me to join their sect for a special purpose but I told them I could not, that I wouldn’t live long enough to carry out the task. They solved this problem by making me, and all my family in the cabin, immortal.

I never did find out what my task was and spent hundreds of years running around like a child, playing games and chasing butterflies in summertime.


20-March-2006: I dreamt that someone I know called Lionel was living in a house that used to belong to the family of Sean Atkinson, a kid I used to hang around with that grew up to be a total asshole – though I haven’t seen him for over a decade so he might be a nice guy by now. Lionel was living with a sexy secretary and he had a fast, yellow sports car in the drive. There were lots of helicopters flying overhead and we saw a flatbed truck drive by as we went out for a spin in the sports car. I told Lionel and his girlfriend/secretary that the flatbed truck was for transporting battle tanks. We had the roof down on the car and Lionel was driving like a professional rally driver, really fast, sideways around corners and skidding in S shapes through slippery leaves. I thought I should have been afraid of the driving, but the sun was out and I had a wonderful time. We stopped later and watched the flatbed truck drive by again, this time it had a battle tank on the back.

19-March-2006: I was dreaming about flying a helicopter, very badly, over a landscape from the computer game, Battlefield 2.

18-March-2006: I had a really funny dream where almost the entire cast of Desperate HousewivesDesperate Housewives was blown up by a bomb planted on a yacht. There was a great internal shot of one of the women, possible the one that Teri Hatcher plays, got sucked backwards through a window because of the bomb blast. I had a feeling that it was half dream and half movie, and the people were blown up to make room for a whole new cast next season.

17-March-2006: I dreamt that I talking to a friend I haven’t seen in ages called Lewis Evans. We were discussing my Ba Ba Black Sheep heavy rock number from the previous night’s dream and the best way to play it on acoustic guitar. I tried to show Lewis how to play the tune but it kept coming out as BagpussBagpuss, an old British children’s TV programme.

16-March-2006: I had a dream that I was reinventing the nursery rhyme Ba Ba Black Sheep, turning it into a heavy rock number.

15-March-2006: I dreamt that I was creating a science fiction universe for a story that slowly began to turn into reality. I saw the future of commercialism where a large British supermarket store, advertising on the outside of a space station, had concentrated it’s marketing so much that it only sold a single brand of cigarettes.

14-March-2006: I dreamt that I was walking across some moorland. There was a little fair or garden party in the middle of the moor and, as I walked through the crowds, I accidentally bumped into a man. I said I was sorry but he was very angry and wanted to fight with me, this was a big mistake because it was one of those dreams in which I have incredible super powers. I flung him around like a cat plays with a toy mouse.

13-March-2006: I was dreaming about a room in my childhood house where some upper-class children were making fun of me in a snooty way that only upper-class people do. They were more friendly towards me when I started playing a piano, singing songs and making them laugh.

12-March-2006: I dreamt that I was being hypnotized on French TV. It was amazing, everything I thought hypnosis would be like before I’d gone to real hypnosis in waking life. I went into a deep sleep, I could feel myself going under as if I’d been given an anaesthetic, and considered all my phobias.

11-March-2006: I dreamt that Marcia, my wife, had made a list of questions for me in pink letters on a sheet of paper. There was a sort of feeling in the dream that I’d asked her earlier what she was thinking about and she’d said she wasn’t thinking about anything at all, but the appearance of the list sort of confirmed what she’d been thinking about. The first question asked me who Trisha was, so I told here that she was my friend’s (Bob Addy) girlfriend from about 16 years ago. The second question on the list was something along the lines of, ‘what does our love mean to you and where do you see it taking us in twenty years time’. Apart from the love angle it was a bit like a question you get at a job interview, I found it difficult to answer because I didn’t want to say the wrong thing. I asked if there were other questions and Marcia told me it depended on how I answer this one. I woke up then and told Marcia about the list of questions she made, she immediately asked me who Trisha was.

10-March-2006: I was in a dream about travelling to Wales, with Marcia my wife I think, and the whole thing hinged around crossing an old, ornate bridge from England to Wales. I was flying in part of the dream to try and get to the bridge quicker but I don’t think I ever did cross it.

9-March-2006: I dreamt that I was watching a really stupid love story on TV with a guy called Tim Wheeler, someone I went to school with when I was a kid. The movie was stupid because the male lead couldn’t commit fully to the woman for some unknown reason. It was all melodramatic like an old 1920s or 30s movie and the woman was nearly going to marry some other guy instead out of frustration, but the movie ended before we could see what happens. I got up and threw a cushion at the screen and shouted how I couldn’t believe anyone would make such a stupid movie where the story isn’t resolved at the end.

8-March-2006: I dreamt that I was part of a group of people that were expert climbers. My waking life friend Ché Sanderson was one of the group, the two of us used to go climbing for real. Instead of climbing rocks like normal though, we were climbing buildings in different towns around England as publicity stunts – just for the fun of it. I suggested we go and climb the Boston Stump, a funny looking church in the town of Boston in Lincolnshire. Loads of local media types came to watch us climb, we never used any ropes or protection so it was quite a big deal to come and watch us in case we fell off. In the dream we never did get around to climbing the Stump, we were always going to dinner parties and talking to celebrities about the stunt but never actually doing it. We were eventually accused of making the whole idea up so we’d get invited to parties, which wasn’t entirely true, so we said we’d jump from the old building, instead of climbing it, and land on the ground without any special gear and without killing ourselves. I woke up before the event took place.

7-March-2006: I had a dream I was in a large house that had been specifically set up to test your IQ and psychic powers. You went from room to room trying to navigate your way through the house and out the back. There were puzzling stairways and mysterious doors to negotiate in a race against other people who’d started from different locations within the house. Some of the rooms were especially designed to stimulate certain areas of the brain. I was pretty sure I’d won, using my superior psychic powers, but when I got to the finish line I was congratulated for being second. I was also surprised that a bunch of other people who I’d thought were pretty stupid, one of them was Pat Butcher, (an oldish woman from a British TV soap), came running up to the finish line only a minute later.

6-March-2006: I dreamt I was in yet another adventure type dream, this time it was a cross between Judge Dredd and Mad Max. I was newly enrolled as a cop and we, the squad and I, were to be sent into some really hazardous duty. There were some frightened old people nearby and I asked my officers if they’d rather do something else instead of the hazardous duty. They said they would so we bundled all the old people into an armoured bus and deserted our posts to help save them. The rest of the dream was a long chase involving our battered old bus, with steal plating attached, and a load of Judge Dredd type cops chasing our splinter faction through the wilderness. At one point I was watching the bus, with me driving, from high above and commented to an invisible companion that this version (the dream) was a lot better than any of the original Mad Max movies.

5-March-2006: I dreamt about someone explaining a really weird insurance scam to me, though I can’t make any sense of it now.

4-March-2006: I was dreaming about being in a real life/computer game type scenario with pirate ships. A friend called Nathan Wood was in his own pirate ship and I was chasing him. He made a comment about me slowing down to give his ship a fighting chance but I laughed and shouted that I’d still cut him off before he was past the next island if I went as slow as my ship could go. I didn’t wait that long though, our ship opened fire and sunk Nathan’s pirate vessel in seconds – then the game was over.

3-March-2006: I dreamt that I was in a really rundown and dusty place near a desert, a kind of little town you get by the road in the more deserted parts of America. A guy I went to school with as a child called Richard Cass was in a big rectangular hole trying to erect a piece of art that he’d made. The art was a 3D sculpture made from metal and he was trying to get some steel rods into the hard dirt of the desert floor. I used some kind of magic powers to weld the pieces of metal together in the right places, then used super-human strength to push the rods into the solid ground. While all this was happing a fat man called Harold Bishop, from an Australian TV soap, sort of lurked in the background being miserable – he was mourning the loss of his son, granddaughter and sister-in-law.

2-March-2006: I had a dream about cultivating the front garden of the house where I grew up. My stepfather, who I haven’t seen in years, was creating a three tier rockery, which was kind of odd for him for he has no artistic talent. I laid some rocks down myself right at the front and I thought he was going to tell me to move them but, to my surprise, he let me leave them there and they became part of the new garden.

1-March-2006: I had a kind of adventure dream where I was a child in London England on the run from the law. I think that all children were breaking the law by being seen in public, or perhaps they were breaking the law just by being children. I lived with some other young people in a rundown old building that looked like it had been bombed. There was a new young black guy that became part of our gang and I knew that part of the dream’s plot was that he was working for the police and trying to figure out where all our hiding places were.