Dreaming LifeDreaming Life

31-August-2009: I had a dream there were lots of mud pits full of skulls along the street I grew up on.

30-August-2009: I had a dream that I was in a plane that crash landed very softly on the Las Vegas Strip.

29-August-2009: I had a dream that it was the last day of school and there was a huge party with lots of booze. The next day the street was littered with empty beer bottle and, totally out of character, my brother was really annoyed by the mess.

28-August-2009: I had a dream that all kinds of crazy explosions occurred and demons invaded a village called Weldrake after I shouted "By the power of Grayskull, I have the power!"

27-August-2009: I had a dream that I lived in a house high up in a tree. A fire started in the forest and was quickly spreading towards my tree and house. I ran inside my house to try to rescue my most valued possessions, but found I'd already been and rescued them earlier.

26-August-2009: I had a dream I was on a really long train journey that, annoyingly, ended up back in York where I started from.

25-August-2009: I had a dream that I owned a talking dog who attacked a picture of Barack Obama. I hit the dog and told him he was wrong. Later the dog appeared on TV to make a public apology to Barack Obama and to ask the public to not be nasty to me for hitting him.

24-August-2009: I had a dream that the police were asking me questions about a person who'd gone missing outside a fried chicken outlet many years ago. I didn't remember the person or the fried chicken place, and the police didn't know who they were talking about either.

23-August-2009: I had a dream that everyone wanted me to take my clothes of and show them my penis. I didn't want to and the 'people' took me to court to try and force me to show my penis to everyone.

22-August-2009: I had a dream that I solved a mystery about why thieves were taking part in a water-skiing competition as a distraction so they could be catapulted into a remote and unused part of town. The thieves had travelled back in time to get themselves into the competition and be catapulted into the middle of what was to be a major banking district so they could go forward in time again and steal lots of money.

21-August-2009: I had a dream that I was a screenwriter for a British soap opera called Hollyoaks. I was drinking in a pub called The Golden Ball in York where I live with my friend Neil Kay. One of the cast of Hollyoaks, a beautiful young woman called Jorgie Porter, came into the pub and I introduced her to Neil.

20-August-2009: I had a dream that I was flying across the ocean to America while kissing a girl.

19-August-2009: I had a dream that my mother was hanging a sculpture of a cogwheel from an archway called Victoria Bar in York, England.

18-August-2009: I had a dream that Freddie Mercury was alive and having sex with a woman on York beach, the little sand bank under Ouse Bridge in York, England. While Freddie was having sex a TV reporter was saying what freaks some people are.

17-August-2009: I had a dream I was in an old fashioned pub or tavern and a cat was walking along the bar and climbing in and out of people's drinks.

16-August-2009: I had a dream that Olga, the owner of a guest house across the street, was annoyed at a gang of kids making too much noise outside. They were tuning up a very noisy super-car that was leaking oil onto the street.

15-August-2009: I had a dream that an old man and his son were playing poker with me. They were both scam artists and trying to rip me off. I knew what they were doing though because I was actually a demon and could read their minds. I was waiting for them to go through with the scam then try to rob my house so I could take their souls.

14-August-2009: I had a dream that I was in a very posh coach on a train, all velvet and gold fittings. Instead of enjoying myself though I was jealous because Marcia was having fun playing cards with some young guy. I was even more jealous later when Marcia fell asleep with her head on his lap.

13-August-2009: I had a dream that we moved to a new house. I went out drinking with friends and got pretty drunk, so much so I couldn't find my way home. After exploring many streets I eventually found my new house and arrived home many hours later than expected. Marcia was very annoyed with me for being so late, and so drunk.

12-August-2009: I had a dream I was on a train to Edinburgh when it came off the tracks. The train crashed really slowly, moving at like 3 miles per hour. I climbed outside and went to the front of the train to watch it glide slowly down a street and bang into someone's front door on their house. The house door fell inwards with an almighty crash and I said "hello" like I'd just knocked on their door a little too hard, which I found to be totally hilarious.

11-August-2009: I had a dream that my friend Dave Smiley shot three people. I took his gun away and disabled it, then destroyed the bullets. The police arrived and Dave confessed that he'd shot the three people, but the police looked at his gun and laughed at him.

10-August-2009: I had a dream about Japanese girls driving cars and crashing them into each other, then flying off into the sky.

9-August-2009: I had a dream that an old friend called Tom Bee and I were having a play fight with cardboard tubes attached to our heads.

8-August-2009: I had a dream that I was huddled in a basement waiting for the Earth to be destroyed by a Solar flare. I prayed to God, knowing I was about to die, to look after me and everyone else in the world.

7-August-2009: I had a dream that my friend Ché Sanderson was at a garden party doing a stand-up comedy routine.

6-August-2009: I had a dream that I was having nightmares and I was watching Star Trek to try and calm my nerves.

5-August-2009: I had a dream that I was back at my childhood school in physics class with Mr Baker. The teacher was drawing a simplistic diagram of an atom and I interrupted him to explain how small and outright bizarre an atom actually is, how the same atom can be in two different places at the same time. I also explained the theory of relativity in depth.

4-August-2009: I had a dream that I stole a small plane from Sherburn Aero Club and later crashed it in a field near a secret airfield further south in England.

3-August-2009: I had a dream that my friend Benji came with me when I took a penguin to the lake at York university.

2-August-2009: I had a dream that Marcia, my wife, and I were talking to an old autistic friend of mine called Joseph who'd hurt his foot.

1-August-2009: I had a dream that I was trying to convince a room full of people that they'd been brainwashed by a UFO in the sky, but every time I tried to get their attention a huge thunderstorm deafened everyone.